


I'm scared I'm fine

by stakemyheart



Category: My Chemical Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-19
Updated: 2016-03-19
Packaged: 2018-05-27 15:51:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6290617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stakemyheart/pseuds/stakemyheart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Frank visits the grave, memories of his fiance starts flooding back to him and he wonders if a life without him is a life worth living at all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm scared I'm fine

**Author's Note:**

> Hello this is my first oneshot that i wrote awhile back. All words in italics are memories. Tell me what you think hope you like it :)

"So you weren't a vampire," Frank smiled sadly then looked away, his eyes not bearing to stare at the empty gravestone before him.

The rain continued to pour, leaving its marks like tear stains all over Gerard Way's gravestone. Everything looked beautiful under the moonlight, and it didn't matter that he was sitting alone in the middle of the graveyard because fuck- everything was beautiful. It was different this time though, the brilliance of the stars merely mocking him, like he had been the only one to lose his fiancé and it hurts.

Frank shuts his eyes and continued pulling on the grass gently. He wasn't alone, though. The tragedy of the cruise ship had left many people speechless. No, he wasn't alone, but that didn't make it hurt any less.

The stars really were brilliant tonight. Gerard would have liked them. The Star Wars nerd would stare at anything that reminded him of luke skywalker and star-gazing had always been their thing. Frank wasn't a huge fan of them like gerard, but he loved how the older's eyes lit up like he was in a trance and nothing else mattered. And Frank too found the moment perfect; soft whispers, small kisses and arms cuddled around each other, like they were really the only two that had existed.

_"I don't get you, gerard. You can't even see them that clearly," Frank nuzzled his head at gerard's chest and heard him laugh._

_"Just because you can't see it, doesn't make it any less beautiful. Maybe astronomy isn't your thing after all."_

_Frank tried to hide his blush. He only told gerard that he was an expert as an excuse to cuddle with him under the stars._

_"I'm a scorpio. And you're an Aries. See, I know stuff," frank scoffed._

_"That's astrology, genious."_

_"Whatever, dork."_

_To which gerard would start giggling and pecking a blushing frank iero on the cheek before staring back at their star._

Nothing else had mattered. The star appeared tonight, as beautiful as ever, far brighter than the other stars. Frank frowned. It wasn't fair. He didn't know why exactly but he felt it unfair for something that beautiful to exist when someone far more beautiful no longer does.

"The stars are very different without you tonight," he spoke aloud, cringing slightly at his cheesiness but he didn't care. He was vulnerable under them, its weight falling down on him, all at once, crushing him to pieces.

"Why gerard? A ship...out of all the things...a ship. You knew you couldn't swim. What were you thinking?"

_"NOOO! GET OUT YOU'RE LYING!"_

_"I'm truly sorry, Mr iero. It's been months and we still can't find him. I'm afraid he's been confirmed as deceased-"_

_"H-He promised..."_

Frank sighed and walked away. He didn't want to remember. The tears falling pathetically from his cheeks and he's not trying to hold back anymore. He stopped at the sea and climbed on top of the water-break. He breathed the ocean air and took out his engagement ring, placing it on the palm of his hand.

_"The tour will only last a week, frankie. I'll be back just in time don't worry about it. "_

_"Fine but take care of yourself, okay. I love you so much."_

_Frank tiptoed a little and brushed his lips against gerard's, feeling him smile into the kiss._

_"I love you too."_

"You promised," he sobbed, circling the ring with one finger before throwing it into the ocean.

He clenched his fists and started screaming into the void, hoping gerard was there somewhere to hear how selfish he was for leaving. Frank felt numb. Fucking empty without him.

"Two years, gee. And i still...i don't know what to do anymore," he choked and looked back at the ocean.

The sea whispered in response, its waves pushing forward and pulling back, as if inviting him in. The rain now falling in pitter-patter, it's tears slowly drying away as Frank blinked in understanding. He did something he couldn't do for two years. He laughed. Frank broke into a mix of laughter and tears, finally getting the joke the world had offered him.

He waved his arms, giggling. "Well, I've never learnt to swim too, asshole. Guess that makes us even!"

Frank spreaded his arms and took a few steps forward till he was standing on the edge of the water-break. It's just like sinking, right? He closed his eyes and breathed the ocean air, a smile plastered on his face. He stood there, for a few minutes, waiting to give up. It was harder than he expected but he really wanted to. The thought that it will all get better scared him far worse than dying. He didn't want to move on and pretend that someone else would be able to fill in gerard's missing puzzle piece. How could he?

_"There's no one else I'd rather be with."_

_Gerard grinned back, blushing at frank's response. He squeezed frank's hand slightly and moved his gaze from the stars to him._

_"It might happen some day, you know," he rubbed frank's ring softly, smiling._

_"Would you take me as your husband?" gerard bit his lip, his voice serious all of a sudden._

He breathed, smiling at the memory. "I'll see you soon, my love."

He lifts one foot in midair, breaths quickening, and takes a leap into the cold water. The ocean pulling him and filling his lungs till he struggled to breathe, fighting desperately against the human instinct to survive. It burned him like a bitch but he clinged on to it, knowing he'd feel gerard's embrace soon enough. The memories all surrounded him, dragging him down to the final moment he shared with gerard, back when they were still stargazing and gerard had asked him that question. A muffled scream escaped frank's lips in underwater bubbles and he could no longer breathe or think clearly. And as it all changed to nothingness, his mind dissolved into a single, last thought-

"I fucking do."


End file.
